Funny, God. Very funny.

Last week I was praying about some money issues. I decided to get specific in my prayer and put an actual dollar amount on the amount of increase I would like to see in our household income.

Two days later I get a text from a friend asking me if I am interested in a position at his company. The job is similar to what I do now and pay is substantially more than I make now. In fact, it’s pretty much exactly what I asked for in my prayer.

Prayer answered, right? Good is good. This is perfect!

Well, not entirely perfect.

It would be a contracted position for 12 months. After that time, the company could either hire me, or not. Today, I drive about 5 minutes to get to work. This job would be a good 30-40 minute commute. There may or may not be health benefits to start. If not, I have to get my own. If the company hires me after the 12 months, there is a good chance my salary would be quite a bit lower than the contracted work. The salary would still be more than I make now, but when you subtract the added costs for the commute, I’d probably break even. And, the big one, the job is similar to what I do now. Same title, in fact.

God is good. Let me make that clear.

I asked for money and he said, “Money? Sure, I’ll give you money.”

And then under his breath, I barely heard him say, “I thought you had a dream to write? I thought you wanted to enjoy your career? That’s what you have prayed in the past. Why do you have so little faith?”

Where have I heard that before?

He’s right. And in a moment of panic I was willing to put all that aside for money.

I’m sorry God. I’m sorry I don’t trust you enough to take make ends meet. I’m sorry I can’t hand over our finances to you. I’m sorry I am still holding on, thinking that I can fix it. I’m sorry I spend time worrying about this stuff.

Let your will be done, God. Help me let go. Help me trust more. help me believe more. Help me to be an example to those around me.

What God has planned for me is bigger than money because He is bigger than money. He gave me a dream. He gave me something to chase after. He gave me a talent and asked me not to waste it. And, for a long time, that’s what I have been doing. I have either misused it or ignored it. God doesn’t give dreams for us to waste. He doesn’t give us talents so we can ignore them. He gives us these things because he wants us to use them. He wants us to go out into this world and show people what God can do; what we can do with God.

What has God given you? What have you done with it?

 

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