The journey begins.
I started this blog with the idea that I could one day make a living writing. I would sit in my cubicle imagining a day when I could work from home, and have all the time in the world to focus on doing one thing really well. Here I am now, sitting at home, typing away, trying to find ways to make a living with words.
How did I get here?
The journey to here is a long one, filled with ups and down and curves, just like your life. So, I will start from last Sunday.
You’ve heard of the Sunday evening blues, right? I’m sure you have.
We were driving home from a Sunday evening gathering of close friends when it hit me. I had to go to work the next day. I’ve had that realization so many Sundays, but this time it was strong. I just DID NOT want to have to go into that building the next day. Monday morning came and the feeling lingered. I went into auto-pilot mode and got ready for the day, drove the same route I had driven so many times before, parked in the same general area as every other day and walked into work.
I went through the normal routine of the day, but with a heavy weight on my shoulders. I couldn’t shake it. I couldn’t get the idea out of my head that this was not where I belong. Fast-forward to that evening, back at home with my family, I let my wife know I just didn’t feel right. It was a dizzying, anxious feeling. She did her best to comfort me, and we went about our normal business that evening as a family.
I felt a bit better Tuesday morning, right up until I pulled into that parking space. I stared at the building for a minute, then forced myself to open the car door, get out, and go inside.
I used to be pretty consistent about praying in the morning when I got to work, but had gotten out of the habit as of late. Starting a new 30 day devotional on my Bible app had helped, but finding consistency in talking to God had somehow fallen off the top of my priority list.
That morning, however, I found it in me to go to Him. I had a burning desire to go to Him. I had certainly gone to Him before and talked about my dissatisfaction with cubicle life. He is well aware that working in a cubicle was never my intention, and had always been a temporary means to a much more glorious end. After all, it was God that gave me whatever writing talent I might have. And, it was God that placed the desire to write in my heart. So, this prayer was nothing new to Him.
I handed my stresses and worries over to Him. I reminded Him that this isn’t where I am supposed to be. I asked forgiveness for my sins and thanked Him for all the work He has done in my life; which is quite a lot (and there is quite a bit more to do). I talked to Him about the desires of my heart. And then I asked for a sign. I asked for a clear cut sign that would clue me in as to what direction my life was going to go. I prayed for my family, and close friends, closed out my prayer, got some coffee with co-workers, and went about my work.
Less than 3 hours later, the phone rang at my desk. I did not recognize the person’s name on caller ID, and when I answered, the voice on the phone asked me to come down to HR to chat for a few minutes.
This was new for me. I was coming up on 8 years with the company, 12 years in a cubicle, and not once had I ever been called to HR for anything, let alone to chat. As a precaution, I grabbed my cell phone and keys.
The kind woman from HR introduced herself and walked me back to her office where my manager was sitting. I sat down and no time was wasted in explaining to me why I was there. I’ll spare you the explanation as it is not important. But, bottom line, my services were no longer needed. I would later find out, I was one of many who received that same news that same day. It was nothing earth shattering, just a company doing what companies often do. I handed over my badge, let them know where my personal items were at my desk, took the information they provided for me, and walked out.
It was so sudden. It was so shocking. It was so weird. It was so…exciting!
The weight lifted from my shoulder. I thanked God for my answered prayer. I called my wife. She was excited too!
And now here I am, a little over a week later, sitting at my desk at home, doing what I always wanted to do.
Am I nervous? Heck yeah! I’ve got a decent size income to replace, and not a lot of time to replace it.
Am I still excited? You bet! God’s got a plan for me, and He is working it out. I don’t know what it is, but I trust Him. That doesn’t mean I am going to sit on my hands and wait for Him to drop success in my lap. I know I have to play my part in all of this. But, I am looking forward to seeing what paths He will take me down, what challenges are in front of me, and what trusting in my creator can do.
A few things have already fallen into place and I am exploring those paths. I will continue to look for other paths to follow until God makes it known where exactly He wants me, and what exactly He wants me to do.
I hope you will continue on this journey with me. I hope you like rabbit holes, because we are going to see how deep this one can go.